The Wonderful World of Me.

Wow, has it been a while, i've ignored my LJ, i feel so bad now that i actually took the time to come in and send more than 2 minutes here. I've actually been trying to start a new one. I actually want to start my own community based on Fan fiction. I know i'm a nerd, but i'm trying, that's the main thing. But some of the people out on here are way intimidating. My best friend is one of those and i've never showed her anything i've ever written, I'm so self conscience about it. But i'm working on it. We'll see.

But any who for those that haven't heard,  I'm still single. Yeah, i know, I love it! lol It's the first time that i've actually enjoyed being single. I don't miss a thing and i've been like this for a while now. I've finally learned how to be single. I've been going out. Went to Vegas for the first time, been doing a lot of reading, started playing the piano a bit again. Been spending a lot of time with my best friend, who i must say has been the greatest help in everything i've done these past few months, i'm really happy that we are close again.

Other good news is that i've been working enough to get me through, even though i'm living with my parental and siblings, i'm going out enough to keep me happy. I'm going to try and keep up with my LJ's especially right now that i have a computer and my some time. lol.

well this is about it. for now. i'm drawing a blank.

So here is the update on me, i've been having to deal with guy issues yet again, an old friend of mine spent the night in my room and we made out all night, he said he's had feelings for me since like forever ago, which i didn't really believe, but he kept insisting, i just thought he was trying to get in my pants, but he convinced me other wise, being that i wasn't going to let him get that far and he didnt. Noooow i just found out that he might be bi, that according to chisme, he had something to do with a guy...Fuck! just my luck! I am so glad i didn't do shit with him but make out, but i don't really have feelings for him though, i'm really into Jose and he is just so damn hard to get over, things are wierd between us now. we avoid each other and it sucks i want to things to go back to  the way they where...Fuck! my luck yet again.

Well that is it for right now, i'm tired and just wanted to let this out.

I've totally ignored LJ, i remember being on here posting every day, sometimes upto 3 or 4 times a day, whinning about my life, my issues, but lately, i've learned to bottle everything in. No one really knows my feelings, well Terrance does, but he doesn't count....he lives in Tx. But it feels good to know that he is there and i can always talk to him.

So Saturday was my sister's 15th bday party...it started out really bad, being that my mom ended up in one of those moods where all she did was yell at me and what not. Charging me for my part of the catering service, i couldn't believe she was doing that, i had already paid over 500 on the party, not to mention the rest i had to pay. I didn't care, i cried it out and just kept going with the decorations, guest started arriving at 5pm, and i was still in my rags, fixing the final details. I was finally ready by 6:30pm, after getting my mom and sister ready we all looked ubber-cute. we pulled of the 50's look quite well if you ask me.

The DJ showed up started setting up and started to play 1950's rock and roll which was awesome. I was going around every table making sure that everyone was taken care of and that every one was feeling comfertable. I was so happy that all the people that i wanted to come showed up. I had invited a grip of my friends and only two or three showed up, which at first had me disappointed, but i didn't care at the end, i had a great time.

I got to dance with the DJ, who is now that guy i like, i also danced with Oscar, the guy i used to like, but i was more excited to know find out that the DJ, named Jose likes me, but now is acting wierd towards me, being that Oscar is now trying to like me, which is bad, cause now i like Jose, but being that Jose knows that Oscar is "trying" to like me, he's moving aside, being that he knows i used to like him. So after everyone had left the party, i tried to walk Jose home, being that he lives two houses down, but i had oscar following us, but a bit before that i got the chance to tell Jose that i liked him too. I don't know if he remembers me telling me that, he was drinking a bit. I haven't talked to him ever since, we see each other on the block, but i don't say anything and he doesn't either, i think we are both to embarrased to say anything to each other, but i do like him, i don't care what others say, he is a cool guy to talk to and knows hows to make me laugh and well that is one thing i love in a guy, not to mention he is a dancer too. Two very good gualities. But like usual i ended up with no one. I'm begining to think god wants me single...lol.

On another note, Isaias, my ex, has been calling me lately, i mean he's never stopped calling, but now it's been a every other day thing. I don't mind it, we have been talking really good, no arguing, we've agreed to be friends and i have been keeping my part and he has too. I don't look for him, he calls me, i respect the fact that he is with someone, but he sounds so missarable when he talks about her, but what can i do, absolutely nothing, all i do is hear him out, that is all i can do. I'm not going to tell her to leave her, cause then it will give him bragging rights, and i really don't comment on it, i actually tell him to give her more time or else things will end up like him and i did, but he doesn't want to listen. 
Getting back together came up the other day, i straight forward said that would never happen. Things can't go back to the way they where and things can't get better. I dont' have the same feelings i use to for him and i don't respect him anymore. I truely want to be his friend and that is it. But i will admit i love the fact that i can still cry to him about my problems and he listens like he used to. I guess i do like his friendship but that is it.

So work calls tomorrow, so here i end this.